THE LOVE CHAPTER FOR MOTHERS

“If I talk to my children about what is right and what is wrong, but I have not love, I am like a ringing doorbell or pots banging in the kitchen.  And though I know what stages they will go through, and understand their growing pains, and can answer all their questions about life, and believe myself to be a devoted mother, but I have not love, I have nothing.

If I give up the fulfillment of a career to make my children’s lives better, and stay up all night sewing costumes or baking cookies at short notice, but grumble about lack of sleep, I have not love and accomplish nothing.

A loving mother is patient with her children’s immaturity and kind even when they are not; a loving mother is not jealous of their youth nor does she hold it over their heads whenever she has sacrificed for them.

A loving mother believes in her children; she hopes in each one’s individual ability to stand out as a light in a dark world; she endures every backache and heartache to accomplish that.

A loving mother never really dies.  As for home-baked bread, it will be consumed and forgotten: as for spotless floors, they will soon gather dust and heel marks.  As for children, right now toys, friends and food are all-important to them.  But when they grow up, it will be their mother’s love that they will remember and pass on to others.  In that way, she will live on.

So care, training and a loving mother reside in a home, these three, but the greatest of these is a loving mother.”

Adaptation of 1 Corinthians by Dianne Lorang, quoted in the book, “Becoming a Woman Who Pleases God”, by Pat Ennis & Lisa Tatlock

Work while you work, play while you play.

That is the way to be cheerful all day.

All that you do, do with your might.

Things done by halves are never done right.

One thing each time and that done well

is a very good rule as many can tell.

Moments are useless trifled away; so

work while you workand play while you play.

–M. A. Stodart

Quoted in “Created for Work” by Bob Schultz

Yesterday I found myself visiting in a new friend’s home, surrounded by young mothers and their very young children. It’s been a while since i’ve had the privilege of being around so many young toddlers.   While watching the children toddle around and play in the living room in a somewhat unusual scene, as not one of the half dozen toddlers two and under, was crying or fussing or fighting I was just thoroughly enjoying what is one of my very favorite ages.

One little girl who is only a week younger than my grandson came and cuddled up with me for a few minutes, chattering away all the while about her 2 year old world. In the midst of this scene an overwhelming sense of sadness unexpectedly washed over me and I almost fled. Hoping that none of the other ladies would notice the tears threatening to escape my eyes, I found myself inexplicably aching to hold and treasure the two grandsons (two years old and 5+weeks old) I am not welcome to see, thanks to Bill and Ardith Keef, head of the Anchor Missionary Fellowship cult. After I left and went home I found myself struggling with a myriad of emotions all afternoon…but most of all grief and sadness. As I wrestled with my own sorrows, I thought about the father of these two young boys, who is also being denied all the rights, responsibilities, duties, responsibilities and joys of a father. Well, not quite all responsibilities…he still gets to help foot the bills….but hold his newborn each day, watch his sons learn to walk, hear their first words, hold them and play with them, do the whole daddy thing that is so important to the healthy development of a child…these things are denied him. For him my heart breaks. For the two boys who are being denied the normal, every day interaction with their father that is so deeply important to their healthy development, who are being withheld from the love of their father, for them also my heart weeps.

As the morning sun peeks over the shoulder of our home, it kisses the small wild sunflower growing in the birdseed garden that has sprouted around our mailbox. As i gaze on this scene through our kitchen window it comes to me that i would love to share this picture with my dearly loved family member. After three years of being inexplicably cut-off from her life, I still feel lonely for her, and for all the special moments we cannot share together. For the sorrows we cannot weep together over, for the joys we cannot share in. For the little moments that are gifts to us in each day, like the morning sun kissing the uplifted face of the sunflower.

It’s a funny thing really….though I often have these moments of things i’d like to share with her…like the time in spring when the ground was covered in white flower petals and it looked like a whispering spring snowfall as the wind gently blew the petals in a shower off the trees…and i wanted to call her up and tell her about it…though she lives in a state buried in snow….well the funny thing is….i don’t even know if she would even be interested in all the little things i have an urge to share with her.

And what about her special moments….who does she share them with…and what are they? What are the things that touch her heart and brighten her day? Or even the things that sadden or dissappoint or discourage? Does she have an arm around her shoulder? A warm hug when her heart is shivering? Who does she share those little moments that grown married daughters usually share with their mothers?

Is she even alive? If something happened to her, how would we know? You see, I miss my baby girl, though she is a mother herself. I miss the grand babies I was not invited to help welcome into the world. The chance to hold them and kiss them when they were fresh and new and squealing; the precious, precious gift of holding their tiny newborn selves, of touching their tiny fingers and toes, and kissing their nose, of breathing in that wonderful newborn fragrance….all these gifts were given to another….without any explanation of why…why we were not wanted or missed….why we were not invited to be a part of her life, why we were not wanted in her wedding plans, why we were not invited to her bridal shower, why we were not invited to her baby showers? Where has my baby girl gone?

Thanks to Bill and Ardith Keef of Anchor Missionary Fellowship in Gorham, Maine, we have lost our precious daughter, without any explanation ever given to us. Well, there is one explanation that presents itself….as we look back at all that has happened, and the way that it happened, it very clearly fits the typical cult pattern. If there is any other explanation for the loss of our dearly loved daughter….we would love to hear it. So far there has not even been a whisper of any other explanation, so we judge by the fruit we have seen….it looks, tastes and smells, not like a Rose, but like a cult. We would love to find out it isn’t. We would love to hear that there was some understandable explanation for our losses and our sorrows and that it has all just been some big misunderstanding that can be put to right. How we would love to know that we were included in the circle of people that our daughter cared for. That healing, forgiveness and restoration could be extended and given. Where cults are involved, of course this will not happen….and as yet we have heard no other explanation of any kind. Only silence.

And in that silence, what is sadder still…is not all the things that i have been robbed of, but all the things that she has been robbed of, the things that she has missed out on and lost that she has no idea of. The good gifts our Heavenly Father would have her enjoy. In her silence, she has lost so much.

Even as things are planted in her mind, and whispered in her ear, that keep her from communicating with us, or understanding our hearts for her, I am reminded of our Heavenly Father. There is not a Truer Love, no Purer Heart than His for us, and yet how often do we listen to the whisperings in our ears that keep us from truly understanding His Heart and Love for us. Even as we long to commune and fellowship with our daughter, and to share good gifts with her, yet sorrowing over her silence, even more our Heavenly Father longs to commune and fellowship with us, desiring hearts receptive to the good gifts He has for us. How often does He receive the same kind of silence and misunderstanding from us?

May we learn to ask His help in tearing down the stone walls in our hearts that block Him out!!!

“For God will bring every act to judgement,

everything which is hidden,

whether it is good or evil.” Ecclesiastes 12:14

Everything which is hidden, whether it is good or evil…when i think of hidden things, of things that the Lord will bring to light and expose for all to see, i usually think in terms of the ugly and evil things we all want to hide about ourselves. The things we don’t want to face or admit even to ourselves that are hidden deep down within. But good things can be hidden too. Somehow this thought challenges me. Challenges me to want to ask Him to bring out and expose now, today, in this moment, the ugly hidden things within, that they might be brought forth and cleansed and removed. Instead of being filled with hidden shame, how delightful it would be to seek to be cleansed of the junk and instead filled up with hidden good, so that on the day when all shall be exposed for all to see we shall turn out to be treasure chests filled with His good treasures, hidden jewels reflecting his glory.

It’s been almost two years now since my best prayer warrior and friend, my mother, has gone to be with the Lord.  It’s four o’ clock in the morning right now…hubby is snoring and i can’t sleep, but as i looked at the clock i am reminded that it is the time my mother used to wake up, even after she retired, and faithfully read the Scripture and lifted each one of us, her children and grandchildren, before His Throne.  

Yesterday I was looking at the gorgeous Joseph’s Coat Roses planted in our garden in her memory and instead of the usual memory of her frail state before she left us, instead into my mind and heart came the joyful thought that she is now young and fresh and beautiful like one of God’s roses in heaven’s garden.

In an earlier blog I wrote about some of the reason I am thankful to Bill and Ardith Keef of Anchor Missionary Fellowship.  Over time as we have observed their influence on a much-loved family member, it has caused us to search out scripture and re-examine our own beliefs in different areas.  One of the areas that I have begun looking at scripture more closely is in the area of Family.  It is very typical of cults that one of the first things they begin to do, very subtlely, is to undermine and cut-off any influence from immediate family members.   Although cults typically seek to cut off cult members from family members, they know how powerful and important the family is and seek to become a surrogate family instead.  If the earthly family truly weren’t Biblically important, the cult would have no reason to seek to cause it’s members to sever all ties, nor would they try to become the surrogate family instead.  So I have begun to try to really examine and understand afresh what does scripture really teach on the subject of family and family roles.  Just as I am beginning this project the links to two different sources were sent my way.  All 3 of the following links are excellent and thought provoking in the area of trying to really examine and think through what Scripture has to say in these areas.  I once heard a teacher say, “God does not dispense all His Wisdom to one man.”   And Proverbs says “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another”.  Sometimes our culture and uprbringing has so shaped our thinking that we don’t realize our reading of Scripture is handicapped and exposure to thought provoking articles and sermons such as these can help reveal areas that the Holy Spirit may want us to examine afresh.  

This Women in Ministry Thing 

http://www.mfth.org/publication.html?ID=126&pagename=mfthjournal&a=64263503

This Women in Ministry Thing, Part 2

http://www.mfth.org/publication.html?ID=138&pagename=mfthjournal&a=64282925

 Don’t Waste Your Kids

http://www.covlife.org/resources/145930-Dont_Waste_Your_Kids

The book of Deuteronomy gives the Lord’s final charge, through Moses, to Israel as they are finally about to enter the Promised Land. They have been redeemed and delivered from the land of slavery, and after 40 years in the wilderness boot camp, they are ready to march in as conquerors to take possession of the Promised Blessing God has prepared for them. But they must do more than just take possession. They must also be able to keep possession, to be Kingdom Rulers on God’s behalf. Deuteronomy 6:4-9 gives a picture of a recurring theme in Deuteronomy. The importance of the faithful, diligent, day by day, moment by moment training of our children in God’s ways. The Israelites were not commanded to take their children to the temple, or the priests, for spiritual training and education. Rather, the head of each individual household, the father of each family, is given the solemn duty and responsibility by God Himself, to diligently teach and train his children. A nation of strong families, firmly rooted and grounded in the Word of God, is a strong nation. A nation of weak and broken families is a nation about to collapse, ready to be taken over.

This same principle seems to be true of the church. In 1 Timothy 3:4-5 we find that to qualify as a church leader, a man must first be able to “manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect”. If he is not able to manage his family, how can he take care of God’s family, the church? The family is an important training ground for pure hearted, true ministry.

It’s interesting that one of the core Ten Commandments is that children should Honor their mother and father, and that it is the first commandment that comes with a promise of blessing with it. Could it be that the Lord knew that children who know how to practice honoring their very imperfect earthly parents will be better equipped to Honor their Heavenly Father? As a parent myself, I am only too keenly aware of just how imperfect I am, and how undeserving I am of being honored as a parent. Could it be that the promise of blessing attached with this command is because the Lord knows just how imperfect all parents are, and yet He still expects and desires children to honor their parents.

In 1 Peter 3 Sarah was praised for her submission to Abraham. Why was that? I suspect that it was because her submission to Abraham was in truth a reflection of her deeper trust in and submission to God who was sovereign over her husband. After all, Abraham made what seemed like crazy or risky decisions that led to Sarah being placed in a foreign king’s harem. And just as God protected and honored Sarah for her trust and submission, so too I believe it greatly pleases God when we reveal our trust in His sovereignty over parents by obeying His command to honor our very imperfect earthly parents.

There is sometimes some debate or confusion among Christian circles about what priority the family should have. We often hear things like God first, Family second, Ministry third. Or is it that if God is truly first priority then ministry would come before family??? Perhaps this is a confused approach to this topic. Perhaps understanding that the Family is a Gift, a Stewardship, a Responsibility and Training ground given by our loving Heavenly Father will help clear up some confusion. Perhaps the true root of confusion over the issue of where Family fits in heavenly priorities is simply the rebellious human heart. After all, the human heart, by it’s very nature is self-centered and self focused. To obey the various commands given by Scripture to family members, in every case requires dying to self, submitting to God and and humbly serving our immediate family members as more important than ourselves. Who wants to do that? The command to the husbands to love his wife as Christ loves the church; the command for wives to respect and submit to their husband’s authority; the command for father’s to teach their children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord; the command for children to obey and honor their parents in the Lord; all of these biblical instructions addressing the various roles of the family are neither popular nor politically correct in today’s world. None of these things happen naturally, they go against the grain of the selfish human heart, requiring continual effort, self-sacrifice, and most importantly, complete dependence on the Holy Spirit. There isn’t even any glory or public recognition in serving our family members as Scripture requires. If we are in some “ministry” at church or elsewhere, at least we might gain some recognition or praise for whatever efforts we might make. But behind the closed doors of the family home is the true testing ground of the motivation of our hearts. In the place where there is no public recognition or praise for our good works, where no one else sees what we do or say…there is the true test of our spirituality. Who we are at home with our family members is who we really are.